I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
