ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
