And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We talked him into tasing himself.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Let the clothes fall where they may.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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