So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize