Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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