I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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