Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
