I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
