i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
In other news, I just burned my penis
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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