Non-Jews are for practice
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
