Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
