69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
