who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
