Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
