Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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