I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
