some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
she peed on how many people?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just gargled with NyQuil
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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