he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
