508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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