im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
