Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
