Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
handjob tips. give me some.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
