Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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