Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
