? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
