Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
