mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
