yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
