there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
i've created a new STD.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
