its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
