Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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