Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
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