I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
