just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
