drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
