get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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