I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
