How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
