ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
