ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize