My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
