guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
