So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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