Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize