I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
