sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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