Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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