talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
