he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize
