This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
