Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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