clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
