you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
