party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
