nut hugger
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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