My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
